Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
