So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
