I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
