If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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