The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
