is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
