He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
