I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
