Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
