i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
