im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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