the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
too bad you live with your parents still
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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