If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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