New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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