hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
