You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
