She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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