But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
