I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
