You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Someone shattered a urinal.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
