let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
