Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
