The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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