can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
