Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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