is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I AM VODKA MAN
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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