It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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