its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
