I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
