do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
