Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
