I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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