I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
