im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club ๐
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
iโm blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah itโs pretty much time to go
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
