Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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