So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
