bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
