wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
