I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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