isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
