i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
