only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize