Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
