u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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