stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize