does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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