the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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