Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize