Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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