once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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