For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
