he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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