guys are not supposed to queef...right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
