Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
