A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
