it wasn't lemon gatorade
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
