so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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