i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
