I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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