I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
