I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
