i think my tv is drunk
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
