What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We had to coat check the pizza.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
